I like challenges. I need challenges! 

Challenges make me feel alive, they give me purpose, they serve as a distraction from the monotony that everyday life can sometimes bring; and I love the sense of satisfaction and achievement that completing a challenge can so often give. 

But sometimes challenges are scary, overwhelming even; and the mere thought of attempting what lies head is almost too much to think about, let alone try. 

I am often reminded of my own personality traits as I watch my little boy growing up. He is sensitive, competitive, observant, emotionally intelligent (even at 5). He is good with numbers and is full of energy. These are all things that I have found to be useful in my 39 years and which, for the most part, I am proud of. But this week, I have had to challenge my own thinking to help him deal with something that he was finding hard. A fear of failure. 

This is not a trait I am particularly proud of or like to admit, generally. It was hard to see him so wound up at the mere thought of attempting what he thought he might fail at. I know these feelings all too well unfortunately. The overwhelming fear of under performing, not being good enough, appearing weak, useless even; and making every effort to avoid or get out of whatever it is that might result in failure, because at the time these are much better options than actually attempting what lies ahead.

It was in my efforts to console him and help him to feel confident enough to ‘just try’, ‘have a go’, ‘you’ll be fine’ and in trying to convey to him that that ‘you can only do your best’ that I learned a very valuable lesson. 

All any of us can do is our best; try our hardest with the knowledge and the skills and the experience that we have at any particularly moment in time. And while our efforts may result in a lesser outcome than we had maybe hoped for, or we fall short on what we had set our sights on achieving in some way, we should still feel proud of what we have done, and we should stand strong in the knowledge that no one has the right to berate us for our efforts, most of all, not ourselves. We can however, reflect on our actions and efforts and learn from every experience we encounter. 

What I took away from this experience was that: No one can ever fully understand anyone else’s motivations, challenges, goals, achievements, debilitations, lessons or limitations. So as long as we go out and give it our all and try our best, then that is all anyone can ever ask of us; and therefore other people’s judgements and opinions are just that, nothing more.